crystalfy:

It bothers me that the intelligence of animals is measured by how willing they are to obey the commands of a human.

same goes for students at schools

I just realized how fucked up that is wow. 

(Source: a-puckish-rogue)

And I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go.

She was always holding my hand (via everythingyoulovetoohate)

talkwordytome:

In one of my fave home movies I’m almost 2 and my dad asks me if I know any big words and my answer to that question is singing the alphabet through G and then I get bored so I take all my clothes off

latteinparis:

thedevilswaiting:

The original story of the little mermaid is that she must kill the prince in order to be human, and in the end, she loves him too much and kills herself instead.

The artwork is too great not to reblog. 

Ok, ok - important expansion: she only has to kill the Prince because the deal was if he fell in love with her she could be human forever, and he didn’t. By which I mean, he was a good person and genuinely nice to her, but he didn’t fall in love. He fell in love with someone else, also perfectly nice - not the seawitch in disguise, fu Disney. The Mermaid is told she can only return to the sea now if she kills the Prince. She goes into the room where he and his lover lie sleeping and they look so beautiful and happy together that she can’t do it.

That’s why she kills herself. And because it was a noble act she returns to sea as foam.

One moral of the story was that women shouldn’t fundamentally change who they are for love of a man, and in theory Han Christian Anderson wrote it for a ballerina with whom he fell in love. She was marrying someone else who wouldn’t let her dance.

Holy shit

Well shit man

(Source: xxdardarxx)

nativeandnaive:

legendxofxzach:

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

foxalpha:

falstafff:

i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck

I’d very much like to punch a feminist.

adventureathlete:

thattallsummonerguy:

olisaurusrex:

true-blue-brit:

I’d never, ever hurt a lady but I’d be happy to punch a feminist.

It’d bring me great joy.

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I’m 6’2 and weigh 180lbs

ready when you are

Or if you’d like to have some more options….
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I’m 6’4”
228 pounds
and have 9 years of combined martial arts training and 3 years of being a Line Backer in football.
Just in case you are looking for variety.


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what about a lady and a feminist. warning, combatives certified soldier.

(Source: culturistjack)

ship-hard:

dorasfedora:

I hate when you’re at someone’s house and they’re like
‘mum, she’s hungry’
And you’re like NO DONT SAY THAT I SOUND SO NEEDY WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST SAY WE!?!?

glad to know its an international thing

rosiebeck:

nxv:

primisthebomb:

I THREW A GRAPE IN THE AIR TO CATCH IT IN MY MOUTH BUT IT WENT TOO HIGH AND HIT THE CEILING AND THERE WAS A SPIDER THERE AND THE SPIDER FELL AND SO DID THE GRAPE AND THEY BOTH LANDED ON MY FACE AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING

i read the first line in my head in the tune of call me maybe im so stupid

I threw a grape in the air
I went to catch it I swear
It hit a spider that fell
and now they’re on my face

guiseofgentlewords:

my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me

shmapey:

justmyflawedlogic:

lokisgloriouspenis:

okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl

female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.

so in conclusion

if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick

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THIS IS MY NEW FAVORITE POST

(Source: leethepace)